My Thai Bride
I know that many of you that have found Thailand Musings are interested in Thai girls and maybe even how to find Thai brides of your own. After being married to a wonderful Thai girl for over 5 years now I can certainly understand why you would want a Thai bride. Well, I can tell you if that’s what you want it isn’t difficult at all to find.
I met my wife Golf on the dating website Thai Love Links. And I wasn’t even there trying to find a Thai wife, I was looking for friends and some help with my Thai language skills for a planned trip to Thailand. But, you never know what’s right around the corner.
The thing is, my profile on Thai Love Links was very clear, I was looking for friends and was willing to trade English lessons for Thai lessons. That was pretty much it. Even so, I got dozens of emails the first few days after signing up.
So, I took the plunge and spent the $0.50 a day to be able to email girls back and use the chat feature on Thai Love Links. That my friends is when the proverbial floodgates opened up.
Within minutes of logging in I was deluged with invitations to chat. I’m not kidding, there were chat invitations popping up all over the place. And this happened every time I logged in to the site over the next few weeks. Talk about being like a kid in a candy store.
I really like Thai Love Links because it’s not an introduction agency so you don’t have to go through a middleman and pay exorbitant prices. It’s cheap, even free if you want, and there are tens of thousands of girls there. You can take your time and get to know whichever ones you want. You’ll find they are interested in getting to know you and many (most?) are willing to relocate if they find a suitable husband.
I also like the fact that I didn’t find a lot of girls just there trying to scam me like at some other sites. The emails and chat messages I got were very polite and no one tried to send me to a webcam or porn site. And no one asked me for money either. I would say that 99% of the girls are legitimately there to find a foreign boyfriend and hopefully husband. It’s a great way to meet nice Thai girls and get to know them.
After the past five years of marriage to Golf I can honestly say that Thai women are wonderful wives. They take very good care of you, are helpful, polite, friendly, sexy and altogether charming to be around. Yes there were some difficulties initially due to cultural differences, but those are easily gotten past by communicating and coming to understand each other. Had I known all this 20 years ago I would have had my Thai bride a long time ago.
I totally recommend Thai Love Links if you have any interest at all in meeting Thai women for dating or marriage. The site is professional, the girls are wonderful and the experience can’t be beat.
If you have any questions please feel free to contact me here, but my suggestion is don’t wait. There’s probably a beautiful Thai girl just waiting for that special man right now. Get started at Thai Love Links today and find your own special Thai bride.
UPDATE May 8th, 2009
Over the past few years I’ve had the pleasure of communicating with dozens of guys who’ve tried Thai Love Links and found friends, girlfriends and even wives. It’s great getting those emails. However I’ve also gotten emails from guys that would love to meet a Thai girl, but for one reason or another can’t travel to Thailand. Also, I’ve heard from guys that have problems because of the distance. Honestly if you can’t afford to travel to Thailand to meet some of the wonderful ladies, then how do you expect to get a Thai wife? You shouldn’t have the expectation of leading the girls on if you don’t have the means to come and see them and eventually either move to Thailand or bring them to your country once you are married. If you are interested in having a Thai bride I recommend you take a few trips to Thailand and get a feel for the country, the culture and the people first. If nothing else you will come away with a greater appreciation for your own life and the possibilities out there.
Popularity: 60% [?]
My experience. I have been to Thailand once before and this vacation it would nice to have a companion (not for sex) to share the day with. I meet here there and she was as her profile stated. I am 63 and she is 53. Yes not all Thai women are looking for money but also not not looking for a cheap man. We went to a good restaurant for dinner and next day going again and she said no! cost to much money we buy dinner from street vender. She took good care of me making sure I did not buy spicy food. When at the beach I asked where do I go to buy a drink, she said I will get and asked if she could get one for her. She had a coconut. Street vender was selling boiled peanuts and she again asked if it ok to buy some. She likes chocolate so found almond joy candy bars for her and she was so happy when I gave them to her. Not all Thai women are the same. Yes gold is important to them as a sign of importance and for security but a small gift of a candy bar shows your affection. We will soon be married and I do recommend a visa lawyer for the process.
Lot of Comments
Lot of Thoughts
Lot of Hard and Good Feelings
Only One Question I like to ask you guys , Your Gf or Wife Dump You ,would you take it Back. I am Sure You Will do that every time and forgive her Because you are Blind in Love.
Money is everything here , Love is Just Name for them and Sex Is Just Game for them.
I had a Relationship with Thai Girl More than 6 Yrs ,Yes She Help me when ever I got Problem.But In Last Everything Comes to Money.She is 30 and She is with Now 65yrs Old Man , Just Because he got Money.
What I learn from Them , This is not there Fault Its Our Fault ,We make them like that .When we come to Holidays we take them to Expensive Hotels ,Buy Expensive Gifts , Give them Good Money to Spend later When we are not able to do all this ,They have to get all these then they go for Hunt.
No Hard feelings , I still say Basically they are good People.
Sawadee Steve and Golf.
Happy to see you made this Blog, it is really good for the new the Thai girl relationships for the western man, I have a Thai Wife, Po, we met by chance on Facebook LOL, 2 years online, and we met and married, she is wonderful, Ihad so many bad Western relationships, with women that just wanted everything and gave NOTHING in return, I must say I am with a half Thai half Chinese, but she was born Thai, and always in Thailand, so Thai LOL, she is the more Beautiful, Sweet, Caring, SMART woman you will ever meet, and Isee the bar girls and some gold digging Thai girls, but I see 100 times more in the USA LOL, I find the odds of finding a good girl in the USA is closer to 1 in a 100, but in Thailand, more like 80 out of 100, I say the odds are much better in Thailand. so if any American guys reading this, GO TO THAILAND your crazy if you don’t LOL.
Your story is so common. The lucky men who have true and honourable Thai wives are in the minority, and I hope that they remain happy. The tactic employed by many Thai women is; entrap, bleed dry, discard. Thai women, being devout Buddhists, so should not be materialistic, but I suspect their real God is money. Thailand should put a “Can seriously damage your wealth” warning on these women. You have had a warning. The only advice I would give is not to throw good after bad, no matter how well it is received
I’d have to disagree with the generality of that statement, at least among those that I know. I will admit it happens; but most often it is because the gent went fishing in the wrong pond.
Considering the rate of divorce in Western/Thai marriages is half or less of that of Western/Western marriages, I’d say the gentleman is further ahead taking his risks with a traditional Thai lady.
Sawadee Steve and Golf,
Sabadee mai?
I am a 40 years old who fell in love with a thai girl of 26 met casually on a dating site on the last summer.
We have been together during my holiday, and now she applied a visa, that she got, to come visit me in my country, she should be coming soon, in the middle of this month.
I do love her a lot, even if we don’t know each other well yet, this is why i am happy she’s coming here for some time, we can know each other better and see how we fits living together, not only on holiday time.
The reason why i am writing, is that i am worried she might only be acting and being looking only for easy money…
I have been reading from your forum comments about other people experience, and next to happy people who’s sharing their life i saw also very bad stories.
One of those comments i read was explaining something as it is happening to me: since i returned home i’ve been supporting my girlfriend for many espences about the visa application, and for other stuff too, the broken laptop that needed to be fixed in order to allow us a video communication on skype, a lost wallet from her including 2.000 bath of the money i gave for the visa, an insurance stated to be costing a few hundred baths more then what actually was, same as flight ticket she was proposing and that i decided to buy myself on internet, some money to payback the goverment a debt she had from school (is it possible?), the dentist, new passport, medicines,… in the beginning i was not noticing too much, being so excited i was supporting her to allow her to come visit me, but when i read on the forum about a guy saying that many girls from dating sites are acting like that (i’m sure not all of them) , making examples of the way to get money by farang as it occourred to me (the school debt i noticed because it did just happen to me, or help mom, that did not occour yet), this until they find out that they cannot get more money, so they will start beating again the date sites.
Since then I’ve been starting considering the option she might be only acting with me (seems that some thai girls can do it very well, and she’s smart enough to do it if she want), and i noticed i cannot say for sure this is not my case.
…and two days ago the laptop is broken again and need to be fixed,
and tonight crying she told me she had a discussion with her mom: she blamed her because she will be having problem paying a debt she has with the bank! (she is living alone with mom, father has divorced and remarried and brother is married)
The blaming was because she will come to Italy for a couple of months, and she went shopping this morning buying winter stuff that she will need here… but just yesterday she told me she quit her job (she told me already she did not like it at all and want to find a new one…)
off course she did not ask for my financial support directly, she never did… she has been just describing the difficulties she was meeting time by time, until I offer for help (as i always did).
Now, even if i wanted, i could not help her since the money left are good just to support her while, soon, she will be here, if she ever will.
I really don’t know what to do now; i tried just yesterday to explain her what’s my possibilities and my limits, what i have to offer her that we could share, at which she answered just that she does not care because she loves me, and the only thing she care is to stay next to me.
but one day later… laptop is broken and mama does not have money to pay a debt.
I told her i have no money now to support (which is actually true), at which she answered that she did not ask for my money.
this is true.
It’s also true that she really got the visa, she had to go to Bangkok to apply for it, that she used my money also to buy winter stuff that will not be of any use for her in Thailand, the new passport, the good health certificate, the bags for the flight and so on, so it seems she is really interested to come and meet me, as i always believed.
But when a few days before I asked her to bring from Thailand the cigarette she will smoke, because here is damn expensive, she told me she have no money left, just what needed to go back to Bangkok to get on the airplane to fly here.
Hard to believe after i sent her 1.500 euro in a couple of months.
Now what i am scared about is that i have been treated like a fool until now, but what is worst is that i don’t know how long she could have been playing this game (if really she’s been acting with me, I mean).
In our talking it happen to mention a possible marriage, that is actually also the only way I know we could really live together, not every now and then or just for holidays.
I guess I love her, and i am ready to share everything i have with her, but how can i know if she’s only taking advange on me?
do you think it’s possible she might be acting, and that she might keep on until we marry just to get a quick divorce and get as much as she can from me?
How can i make things clear?
any of your reccomendation is very welcome
Thanks in advance
Email sent to you B
Hello Steve!
Thanks for good advices on this page. I was in Thailand now and I met my girl in person. It was good. I met her on TLL in may, and went there in october. We went from BKK to Nakhon Si Thammarat where her family lives. Here I gave her mum a letter that explained a bit about me and what my intentions where. Her mum said yes for us, and than I gave her a ring and asked her to marry me.
So now I am engaged. And next year we will marry. I have already arranged for her to come to Norway on tourist visa. So everything is taken care of.
I learned some things from reading in here, and it helped me. Today I feel like the happiest, luckiest chap on the planet;)
I think stories like this should be in here. To many bitch about bad girls, without reflecting about what wrong they did them selfes.
My story is happy nice and romantic. And I like to share it.
She will come to Norway soon, and after that we go back to Thailand to marry.
Thanks for this information, and thanks Thailovelinks.com
Ketil
wake up man, you are being ripped of big time.
If you cannot see that then you should examn yourself and wonder who is smarter!
I am sorry for you because you are being conned , she probably has more men who she is communicating with and extorting money from , you are a nice guy with principals and you have to walk away before you are financially and emotionally ruined , good luck
hello
i want to marry with thai girl in thailand how i & where i find thia girl who marry me?
EuropeGuy
you come across as an un-educated bigot! not sure why your commenting on this forum? try visiting Thailand and you will see it really is amazing. In 8 month I will be marrying a thia girl were the age difference is only 3 year, the age gap is not important when couple involved are in love. I cant wait to marry next year and yes she has a job as a teacher we actually meet by chance and just hit it off laugh at the same things, we know when one is a little low and need cheering up. The point is the west could learn a lot from how thia people behave and probably thia people could also learn, there is good and bad in every race sometimes a few people need a good look in the mirror before commenting
Sawasdee krab
Lol that is ridiculous.
You guys are all losers, looking for thai wife cause you don’t take care of yourself.
I only see here a guy who is 60 yeears old with a thai girl of 20.
The discussion is almost NONE cause there is nothing to say between aman and his money and a prostitute who is looking for the western dream. This is all surfing on human misery and business.
You make me sick…
Well, I am 44 and my wife is 29. A difference yes, but not that big. We have been married for over 5 years and have lived happily together in both the U.S. and Thailand. Regarding money, it’s really none of your business, but my wife contributes equally to the household expenses and savings both here in Thailand and when we were in the U.S. No misery here, just happiness EuropeGuy. You sound fairly jaded, but it’s understandable; I know most people can’t understand inter-cultural relationships.
When I read about 35 pluses with graying hair jumping around with young Thai ladies like they are 17 again, I decided: that is a country I want to live in. I’m 34, approaching that age. Some of my hair are gray already!
Hi yuri , Yes i could not agree more ! I am going to thailand . Why live like a poor man when you can live like a king ! Good luck to you.
A nice story maybe? Sorry, it’s too long.
Mine was from Korat area but mostly grew up in Bangkok. Family poor but all the kids were out working honest jobs, and living their lives, each sending a bit home to take care of the elderly parents, as is the norm in Thailand.
When I came along, the siblings had long before pooled their money and bought the plot of land where the parents had been living under a tin roof for many years as the kids grew up and left one by one. They had since designed and begun to build a very large, nice house when I came into the picture. We were both outside LOS when we met.
After several months, we flew to LOS together, “met the parents” and I saw this on-going construction project. Of course, I was intrigued. After 6 more months of dating and cohabitating (still outside LOS), I started to think this one could be a long term relationship. I started putting some money to the construction project each month, sure that some of it siphoned off for good ole Mom and Dad, but frankly, the amount was such that I was ok with it as long as things kept moving along. I wasn’t rich but not in the poor house either. My eyes were open that, if it ever ended, I wouldn’t wring my hands over the loss, but if the relationship continued, would actually serve me in addition to the family’s reasons for building it in the first place. So, you need to be at peace with it and yourself. If you can’t, then don’t do it as it will just be a source of tension in the future.
In my experience though, the family and all the siblings kept on coming around when they could, laying bricks and concrete themselves when funds were tight, including on our holidays to LOS, we would both get our hands dirty. It was good that I saw consistently non-lazy family members, and equally, they were a bit shocked at the farang shoveling sand and doing manual labor (I have zero technical construction skills but I sure and hell could push a wheelbarrow to the bothers that did have such skills). Bit by bit, it got done in a cooperative manner. No bickering, no stress, no BS. It was actually pleasant as I was always on guard from the horror stories about getting mixed up with a Thai.
After a number of years living together outside of Thailand during this formative period, I ran her through a few financial ringers just to satisfy myself that finances wasn’t the core of our relationship (among another thing too), I was satisfied. However, our living in sin started to become an issue in the Thai culture sense, or so it was advertised. Even though she hadn’t lived in the town with parents from a young age still, she felt embarrassed for her Parents as she would drag in this white farang every 6 months on holiday, and the town, probably likey any Thai town, loves to gossip. So, it was as if she was not good enough for me to marry, but good enough to bang – I guess that’s what it boiled down to.
I ignored it until it couldn’t be ignored any longer, bit the bullet, and we flew to Thailand, and put on the public wedding ceremony and party. Wife and parents were so happy and I have to admit, it was a very lovely experience that I will never forget and if I could do it again, I would!
Ok, about the dowry. I sat with Dad, Mom, future wife, in-residence brother, and discussed. I said I would put forth the last big push to finish up the last bits of the house, put in the driveway and make the front garden a lovely place so we could do the party there instead of spending “our” money on a hotel rental hall. Also, that we would just do the ceremony and a party after, not a second night time party where, frankly, 1/2 the people show up for the free whiskey and you don’t know 1/2 of them anyway. Further, Dad agreed the dowry would be show money only, that I had done enough already and should keep the money for ourselves to build our new life together – they were already old, etc… I agreed on 1 million baht dowry. Seemed to be a nice round figure, Dad was happy about it, and I guess it was good enough to show the town folk in attendance, that his daughter was worth a nice sized dowry. It’s a Thai thing.
We did the party, 300 came. Their “donations” in our gold colored pot paid for the whole thing with some left over!
The dowry was as advertised. Dad hefted the sack on his shoulder in lower Issan style (I guess), grinned and made the funny “it’s really heavy” grunting noises so everyone could hear. After it was all over and people had gotten toasted and left, he returned the money with thanks, prayers and chokdees for a happy life together from Mom and Dad both, and it went back into the bank.
Last, we did’t do the formal marraige registration until about a year later. I did a pre-nup through THAIVISA first anyway. Yeah, pre-nups can be a bit “akward” but if you love and trust each other, then it is not a long term stumbling block. On the flip side, discussing a pre-nup with your future wife shoudln’t be a problem – if she means what she says and loves you for you, and not JUST your money. Being honest and frank about it, the akwardness subsides and soon forgotten. Any argument from her about “why do we need a pre-nup, I love you, does this mean you don’t trust me?” needs to be dealt with straight away. Don’t let little head think for big head or be embarrassed to bring it up because you feel like a Cheap Charlie.
We are still married today. She hasn’t changed one bit, still exactly the same lovley person as she was 7 years ago or so when we first met. If anything, better.
That’s my story. I feel like I got very lucky and I’ve never looked back. I hope others can get lucky too, whether it’s with a Thai or not but my purpose in typing all this out was to demonstrate that a relationship with a Thai woman, even from humble origins or a bar girl, can work out. It has as much to do with Farang and his disposition and situation, as it does with the Thai. Bar girl or otherwise.
Chokdee to those who try and congratulations to those who succeed.
Jay
Jay, great story. I too came to Thailand to enjoy my time as a single man. Lo and behold, meet Thai lady and live happily ever after. So many farang think ALL Thai ladies are money-grabbing bar girls. So not true. Not all bar girls fit that stereotype either. My lady ran a small restaurant when I met her, helped me when I had trouble getting finances in Thailand and is the greatest lady I have ever met.
Open mind, open heart and you will find what you seek.
Somebody please explain ‘sin sod’ or ‘dowry’ to me. How does it work, how much should it be and what is it based on? I saw someone paid 10,000 quid, about 20K!! She’d want to be good in the cot for that! And then a whole lot more out of the cot.
I’ll be moving to Thailand later this year, and this is something I definitely don’t want to get involved with. It’s cold hard down the drain if she bolts on the guy, whether it be in the first week or after 20 years.
Have you read this post Ross? http://thailandmusings.thaivisa.com/thai-dowry-or-bride-price/
It’s probably not a perfect explanation, but I’ve been told it hits the nail on the head.
I have read it Steve; found it after I posted.
I have three choices, keep my financial affairs secret (hence paying less), be outbid by somebody else, and the third, don’t get involved with a Thai, because there is no conceivable way I’d be parting with 20K, or even 5K, up front, with no guarantees.
Of course, the terms vary with age, status (divorced or still single), etc., so maybe all is not lost.
I have a serious problem with source of the IM’s I receive (on a daily basis) from supposedly “ligit” members of the Thai Love Links site. Don’t misunderstand….I don’t think the site is involved, it’s just being used.
Everyday while on site I will receive a request for an IM by another member of TLL. I will invariably come from a woman 30-33 yo, from Thailand, Philippines or once in a while Hungry (of all places). It starts off innocently enough….”Hi, Hello how are you….” I come back with a polite, “…fine and you? Are you in Philippines right now?” EVERY TIME THE ANSWER COMES BACK, “….well no, I am of mixed race. My mother Filipino or Thai (varies) my Father from GHANA. So my Daddy died and we are in Ghana right now, Do you have a problem with that? This is the case in EVERY SINGLE IM I HAVE RECEIVED….WITHOUT EXCEPTION……I can expect from 1 to 4 per-day. ALSO, THEY WANT TO MOVE FROM TLL TO YAHOO OR HOTMAIL, “…..SO WE CAN GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER BETTER AND EXCHANGE PHOTOS.” I report every one of them, but still, they persist…..Anyone else have this problem???
Yes Manic D, I have it, at least half a dozen times a day. I report all and most are removed, but sometimes it takes days to do so. I haven’t missed getting one right yet, same deal as you, no pics (because they use others’ pics), mixed race, chat on MSN, etc. They want to chat on MSN/yahoo because they won’t ask for money on TLL.
I’ve emailed TLL and suggested that they don’t even need to investigate my reports because I have a 100% strike rate. Another suggestion is that they don’t permit anybody to register without a pic. If somebody can’t get a pic up, they aren’t people who are likely to be paying customers, so TLL loses nothing. It is damned annoying.
I registered and paid for a month’s Gold membership with TLL this August just to try it out.
I get bombarded everyday with at least 10 requests to chat from dubious people.
ALL WITHOUT EXCEPTION as follows:
On their profile it says they live in Phra Nakhon, Bangkok.
They are Christian – either Catholic or Protestant.
Mixed race – half Thai Half Ghanaian.
On holiday at the moment.
Live in Accra.
Have no photo.
Want to immediately chat on MSN or Yahoo.
Have a husband or family member who has recently died.
Have flowery and over long descriptions of themselves and what they are looking for on their profile and also praise the lord Jesus.
Want your email to send photos.
I have lost count of the times I have hit the ‘Report Abuse’ button and I am getting very tired of doing so considering 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 I can NEVER connect to people on chat but these people seem to have no trouble in doing so.
ALL other people I have spoken to about this have precisely the same problem.
Sorry for shouting but the reason I actually paid for the membership was to be able to chat and this quite simply isn’t happening.
I have recveived what looks like an automated response from TLL asking me to check my browser, firewall, cookies and all the rest of that nonsense but there’s nothing wrong with my system otherwise other people like the holidaying Ghanaians wouldn’t be able to contact me.
If you see or hear Ghana in connection with TLL run like hell. A friend of mine found that out. No picture? Forget it. No Thai address? Forget it. I met my Thai wife on TLL and couldn’t be happier. But, in the experience of my buddy, three chicks from Ghana all trouble. Scammer heaven.
We’ve been married twice in the past two years. The second time at the Temple. The two months spent in the USA, were near perfect [near].
However, in Isan, I see the side that got me to Thailand in the first place. To get away from. Ofcourse it is well understood and once even shared with me in simple terms. The loss of a Father to a family with an ill Mother and three small children, is nothing easy in any part of the world. The beautiful bride told me, if she let it fly at anyone but me. They wouldn’t speak or friends ro family with her again. You Husband, just sabai and we forget about it and move on. Although, any of my praying colleagues out there. I’m getting about worn out and need the Lord’s intervention some time very soon. Those who took the time to read and really feel this , thank you. Anyone going through a similar experience. Keep loving. Mother wasn’t the smartest woman I ever knew but she said and it has proved true all my years, Sincere Love, always prevails. My love is sincere and everything about her makes me closer to the creator and a better man.
many pro and contra here..
after couple yrs i started to make money and made my first million..and i heard later that her and parents life was now changing to be bad in economics hmm life is playing..but i believe woman seeking security all over on this Earth..and this is not a problem..
western woman never do that way ( i am not talking about sex now) cheers
MONEY IS ALL everywhere !!!
I was 28 and had not money, my ex European GF’s parents said to her to quit all love, she did..cos the future was secure for her
i travel a lot to Thailand cos i love this country, the culture, the food and not last the Thai women ++ and absolutely planning to marry one who fits my life..but i wanna live in Thailand with her ! and supporting her and a family? no problem..we guys always do that someway..and i know that too how the Thai woman take care of the man
I think your second line says it all…”MONEY IS ALL everywhere!!!” It doesn’t matter where you go, people are looking for more money or more of the things money can buy. It’s very very rare to find anyone not concerned with the amount of money they have or can make. As far as support goes…yeah I am supporting my wife here in the U.S., no big deal. Next month we will move to Thailand and guess what…she’s the one who will be getting a job
5 star comment!
a guy on a small pension ans social security [like myself]
may be very cautious, because its hard to split the income
if something does go wrong.. how can a guy be sure?
I dunno..but then, how can the Thai bride be sure?
sorry my friend – cant see where a Thai lady will fit in your life.
Good Bad or indifferent, they all take the money side of things seriously……. so if U aint got money……..
>>> No Money……… No Honey <<<
Just lost my girl to another guy, she doesnt really like him, he's a good guy in all but she is in love with me. It didnt stop her family arranging her marraige to him – he's rich guy (Im not).
I would suggest your money would go further in Vietnam and the ladies there are not as focused on your cash……..
Not sure what I will do… 3 failed relationships with Thais, kinda tired of the heart aches.
good luck
Hi All,
This is sort of related to the topic at hand. I’m a recently retired navy vet who receives a pension of about 28kUSD a year. I’m currently studying to teach English as a Second Language (ESL) at the end of which I’m guaranteed a job paying about 12kUSD a year in Thailand. I’m soon to be relocating to Thailand to be with my Thai girlfriend, we’ll be living apart to start with, we both want to take things slowly. I’m fortunate in that my circumstances allow me to be the one to relocate since my GF is not excited by the prospect of leaving her family behind. Who by the way, for the doubters amongst you, are very well off financially and I’ve met many times. They had some doubts about her being with a “farang” (racism is rapant in Thailand) but they now accept me as a son; mainly due to my efforts in learning about their culture and respecting it, respecting them and learning their language to a passable level (sometimes with much hilarity when I mess the tones up which can change intent or meaning of a word completely), and worshipping with them…That and many semi-drunken fun nights watching boxing with her father lol. Sport and beer, it’s universal. So there may be something in that for all of you that are new and struggling with the culture. Remember, you’re in their country, you owe them respect. They have a deeply ingrained culture of caring for family, even the poorest is expected to contribute to the well-being of the all the best they can, it’s not such a bad thing in many ways. But I digress…
Anyway my question is: I’ll be in the Chang Mai area given the amounts I’m talking will I be able to maintain a reasonable lifestyle whilst I live there? Yes I’ve been there many times but only stayed in the tourist areas and whilst all is cheap in the cost of living compared to the rest of the world I found accommodation to be a little pricey.
Cheers,
Brett
Hi Brett, I’m not there yet, but I’ve done some research, and you should do it easily on your income. I was concerned about how I’d do on twice that, but no need for concern. You can get a serviced apartment in CM, studio (the Loft I think), for about $10 a night on monthly rental, and eating out is as cheap as chips. The apartments have a small kitchen, but apart from breakfast, fruit etc., why would you bother. Take outs for lunch and dinner out would be what I’d do.
The Loft (if I remember the name correctly) is about a a kilometer north of the city wall, and accommodation would be even cheaper a little further out.
You will not have a problem on your income.
Brett, I live in Thailand on a salary of 35,000 Tb per month and i enjoy my life. A bit tough at times but when you have a great lady (Thai) who is with you because she wants to be and not for money, life is good.
This topic is filled with so many sad farang who it appears make no attempt to integrate with the Thai people and only see the bad side. Those people should ask themselves, are farang women any different? I would say yes only because they are not up front about their intentions whereas Thai women are open about what they want in the main. Really talk to Thai women and you will find the one word that comes through is security…NOT money. Now doesn’t every woman want that?
I am married to a Thai Lady and I can honestly say she is the perfect wife. She never asks for anything, has her own money before we met (which she offered to me during difficult times in my business!). As for the sin sod I paid £10,000 which I got ALL of it back one hour after the wedding! So it isn’t always about money!
She is very hard working, clever, attractive, funny, great fun to be with and all my friends and family love her to bits (as do I of course)
Couldn’t imagine life without her and in the last two years we haven’t had a cross word.
Only wished I had met her 20 years before but then I wouldn’t have because I was a bigot then who thought all Thai women wanted your money.
I had three other friends who all have Thai wives and they are all as happy as anything.
Open your eyes and see what the Thailand has to offer. Look in the right places (not the bars), read all the books and think with your brain (the one in your head – not the other one.)
What do I like about Thailand….simple…in a word “Respect”
I am 47 she is 45 (looks 35) for the record.
As for women wanting money….yep my previous Uk partners all wanted that…..My Thai Wife…couldn’t care less (as long as we have provision for our retirement)
I agree with the vast majority of this article. My second marriage is to a Thai lady. To be fair to the English wife, she paid me off !!
My thai lady is lovely and is not highly interested in money. She wants it for day to day things but nothing like the extent of warnings i have seen elsewhere. Just having lived through the coldest 2 winters i can recall for quite some time my heating bill has not gone through the roof, she brought blankets and i got her decent clothes. Until recently she lived at home but has now started working for herself, the point being that she was home all day and didn’t use the fire in the day etc etc.
It has been the best thing that i have ever done. I hope for her too. She is concerned to ensure that we have paid the house off and that there is money for when we go to Thailand. She likes a bit of gold now and again and has about 10 Bath saved up. They put a lot of store in that. Other than that she has no monetary designs. I told her about my life insurance and she cried. Didn’t want the money without me.
I am sure there are grasping ones. I am sure there are bad one’s, but then i have met quite a few nasty men as well.
i have came been commuting to thailand for 10 years now staying 8/11 months at a time,
its very hard to generalise thai woman as at the end of the day its all about supporting the family.
they do things different why they have to we do want we can to support ourselves and our familys same for them
yes unfortunately money is a form of love to them and i sincerely believe thai woman do not know the meaning of western love i am not wealthy have a thai girlfriend for about 5yrs but i know in my heart if mr big dollar and splashed the cash within her family made her family home more comfortable that be the end of me and i get i keep you in my heart paul, you guys ever heard that saying.
is this culture of money love more in thailand than the rest of asia?
Hi there
i am Thai lady who married with America can i share my story with your guy?
Thai lady
Just cruising through her Thai lady and saw your post. You haven’t followed up with your experience and I’d like to hear it.
Thanks
Ross
Thailand, Thai woman etc can make you blind and stupid. Once off the plane your mind shuts down. First few times one is taken in by all the things that are Thailand. That being said a few bits of advice.
1. Go there at least 5 times. Sow your wild oats. Play and have fun
2. Learn some of the language so you understand what is being said.
3. Read Stickmanbangkok.com
4. Open your eyes!
5. Realize that most Thais (Issan) have nothing and nothing to loose. It is easy for them to go to zero if you leave them. Can you afford to go to zero if the milk you dry?
6. If you plan on living in LOS learn the laws about property. How much you have to have in the bank to own land, not buying property in her name etc.
Just a few heads up and experience here. Also if you are from the USA look closely at the laws about importing a wife. If things don’t workout between you and your tee-rak you can be in for a long and expensive life should she decide to stay here after she leaves you. AS my emigration lawyer pointed out: If she leaves you and does not remarry, does not get a job, does not become a citizen or leave for her native country you are obligated to financially take care of her for as long as she live here. WAY SCARY Happy my ex and I divorced before she ever came here.
Think with your brain and not you other head. Not all Thai woman are bad. I still plan on living there even with all the flaws I love it there too much.
I met my Thai wife when I went to a salon to get my hair cut. She was working there and gave me a great hair cut. I was enjoying talking to her so I asked for a manicure and pedicure, then finished with a foot massage. By this point, we had talked for a couple of hours and I asked her to dinner. She told me that the following day was her day off, so we met for lunch, and hit it off immediately. We spent the rest of my trip with her, and came back to Thailand two months later to spend more time with her. A few months later, I went to her village with her for a marriage ceremony, and I’ve been in love since the day I met her at the salon.
Thai girls are the best, I don’t believe there is another place on this planet where you can find a better mate.
I have been married to a Thai for nearly nine years. Yes when I met her I thought that maybe she might want to take me for a ride, but like all relationships it takes time to build trust, same as if you were married to a westerner.
We both work together in England and my wife works harder than any one I know. She earns what she spends.
We have our plan to settle back in Thailand in a few years. We have put everything into our retirement 50/50.
I lived in CHiag Mai for 3 years and found a beautiful caring fun loving girl from Nongkai. What lovely people from there ! We are in South Africa now and are getting married in January. We’ll be here for a few years before returning to Thailand for good.I have been to Thailand since 1999 and have travelled to many Asian countries and can truely say that Thai people are the best
Werner .. you have to look outside the bar areas. Then you’ll have better results.
I have been with my Thai lady for 5 years and married for 2. I was married to a European lady before. Its always about the money. My wise mother used to say ” When poverty walks in the door love flies out the window”. About the money but not if you are really in love as you can tackle short term money issues together. Given the huge difference in European salaries or savings why not help the family out as that is a cultural issue and I help my own family out when it is required. The age gap between myself and my wife is only 16 years so not really the old guy young chick couple you see all the time in Thailand but we still get the racism from Thai people and of course the caucasians and hotel staff when we travel overseas. I have never been asked for money by my wife to send to her family as my wife gets a good salary from our business and if she chooses to spend hers on her family that is her choice to make and I would support her in it. Before that she had a good job and was free to send money as required and yes there is an interchange of financial support between the family members all the time as in Thailand it is a cultural requirement. Women come in all shapes and sizes and differing moralities and it matters not whether they are Thai or white. A mistress or trophy wife in the west will take a man’s money as quickly as any bar girl in Thailand. We all reap what we sew – if we choose wrongly in any relationship it will cost us dearly emotionally and financially. I like the comment from the guy retired in Isan who says it is all about the money but he does not care as he is happy. I totally concur.
You think “Golf” is unusual? You should see other Thai nicknames.”Benz,Game,Viking,Eye,Nudee,Titan,Darkie,Poo,Cartoon,Bomb” .. and that’s just a few in the class I teach!
Also Beer Ant Ling Noon Deer Name and the list goes on but Golf was
common
Golf?? Seriously, thats a wierd name for a girl. Are you the owner of TTL or employee?
I guess you’ll flip right out when you meet a girl who tells you her name is Porn, and she really means it. Have you ever been to Thailand?
I don’t know about the “Flipping out” part, but I’m SURE somewhere down the line, I’ll be sorely disappointed…….;-)
I also met my Thai wife through Thai Love Links. We have been married for just over 2 years and I have retired in Khon Kaen. No complaints at all.
hi you live in khon kaen now and you retired now im bill my wife lee live in kk im still in USA she own graphic design shop there only her but having trouble making money i would love to move there but seems hard if not make income i haven’t seen her in 9 months other than video its getting hard on both of us.take care bill
Way to go! Judge an entire nation by one woman. You seem very naive for a “multi millionaire” .. unless it’s “daddies money”
I met a Thai lady was very impressed with her looks and all that as my friend is also Married to a thai lady
I am of german origin – it cost me a lot of money to fly her to South Africa – My friend explained to her very clearly that the culture here is very different that in Thailand – she was told that it is not propper here to ask the so called boy-friend for money the moment she was here she started to as for money for a wheelchair for her mother etc – I did contact my friend and ask , if the ladies mother need a wheelchair – No he said she is fitt and healthy – i put that lady on the next availible flight home – that is my findings they dont love – the love the money they can suck from the single man – I am a multi millionair – but i do not support such methods – that is not done here at all – that of course did cancel all my travel arrangements – will never visit Thailand -
Sounds like you “mail ordered” her, rather than spending the time finding a good girl which is not too difficult in Thailand. They’re everywhere, just not in the bars.
Shouldn’t be surprising to you that a woman you never met who is travelling overseas to meet a “multi millionaire” is looking for some financial assistance. What did you expect?
They say money can’t buy love .. but it can buy sluts. Next time keep your millions a secret and you may score better.
Jeez Werner – you sound way too jaded to be in a relationship. I came here 15 years ago and played the field. Once you know the rules of the game you know how to play the game. You and only you are the one who opens your pocketbook – if you flew some Thai over on a whim trying to find love, what do you expect!?! How many women do you know that will fly over to another country to meet someone they know nothing about and want nothing? Perhaps you should shift your expectations.
I’ve been with the same girl nearly 12 years now – I have done more than my share of fooling around here and for the most part had nothing but fun. If a chick is working in a bar, what on earth can you expect from here after a couple of nights of sex??? Can you really expect true love??? Date single Thais who have jobs – screw the bar girls and massage parlor girls if and when you need them, and when your “regular” girl(s) are ready then taper off or eliminate the working girls.
No problems with girls sponging off me – in the past I simply remembered that I had to open my wallet for them to get the money and that it’s ok to say no. If they don’t like it, oh well! Think before you choose and expect too much – women want security and a decent man – money is important to everyone but how you handle the issue of finances with a woman can make it difficult or easy on yourself.
No my friend, you are a guy who has money. Who is their right mind orders up a Thai wife and has her delivered by airplane to your doorstep? After all, can’t a millionair(e) afford some time away to select a wife? And not as if you were buying a cabbage at the market either.
So where does a good woman go to find a GOOD man if American men have stayed stuck in these old antiquated notions of marriage? I mean the same thing you did, leave the US to get a wife that suited your needs…is there a female equivalent? Just saying…there’s got to be a nice little place for us to go ‘get’ a husband too?..
Doesn’t it bother you that it’s often about money or that it seems to fall back into June and Ward behavior of the wifey taking care of you like some domestic servant? I sure hope it’s more than that but well, but due to the cultural differences of Asian women vs. American women….and more traditional roles as caretaker and less equal…I’m sure that plays a role in these kind of situations. No?
Sigh….
Well… That’s an interesting comment.
As a man making a majority of the money we share, NO, it doesn’t bother me that money is such a big part of our decisions together. The thing is we make decisions about money together. My “wifey” taking care of me like “some kind of servant” is so deeply offensive, but it speaks to what I’ve found true in American women.
I have found American women aged 20-26 to be completely engrossed in our hi-jacked American sense of entitlement, the latest trends in social networking and pop-culture, and an incredibly short sighted, self-centered attitude I can only describe as something like a bad “mai-bpen-rai”.
I’m now a cynic, but I found this true of every one of the single ladies I met in college. Sure, it’s not how all American women are, but in my experience I’d say it’s how a majority are. The single American women I’ve met in Thailand have yet to prove it wrong. Maybe if American women would realize that there are men who don’t expect you to be a domestic goddess, but would appreciate you behaving “like a woman” if you expect them to behave “like a man” women like you could find this “good man”.
My “Jane” takes care of me because she wants to. Because she is my equal we enjoy doing things like washing dishes, or cleaning our place, together. I help her. I believe I’m exactly the “good man” you and many other American women feel entitled to. Unfortunately, it’s not really clear to myself, nor many of the other men who will come to this website, why we should bother with American women.
Is there alternative for women, sure, it’s called Nigeria!!!
Lets face it all long term marriages hit a wall, it happens less if you are both on the same page, as far as goals in the marriage. Everything in a successful marriage is planing,from houses to kids to retirement. Ive seen what I thought was a great marriages fall apart because be it female or male someone thought the grass was greener on the other side.
I worked with a man who really loved being married. They both had good careers but some Jim Dandy at work seduced her and the whole thing fell apart. Jim Dandy was suppose to marry her, but she found out he had promised to marry six other women at the same time. She wanted back in the marriage, my work mate said “what until the next Jim Dandy comes along, no thanks”. To this day he does not trust women and never dated a women more than six months. Twenty Five years later he is retired in Thailand and made the mistake of letting a woman move in. It lasted a month. He now dates a nice young woman a couple times a week and he said that is plenty, but he has a bar girl once in while, why because he can. My wife and I have a female friend who is tall thin and pretty and is married to a tall thin but very average looking man but he is leaving her after twenty years of marriage, and the reason he gives, I want to be single again and ladies you do the same thing to. Someone told me once, I will show you the most beautiful woman in the world and I will show you a man tired of having sex with her. This goes for females too.
You American woman that are divorced and find a man who is great but won’t marry you because his marriage failed and he does not want to be financially entangled with you and lose his shirt a second time. Use your head and put yourself in his shoes and all of you need to take care of yourself stop depending on men and they will stop leaving. A Man who has less pressure has less resentment. American ladies, dating now is world wide, you better step it up, put less pressure on men financially go earn it yourself, it has its rewards.
Bill
I had one Thai wife for 5 or so years and my wife of 11 yrs. now has been around longer then any of my Whiskey Tangos ( Although I’m friends with all my past 5 wives)
Although with myself, it’s never been about the money (it can’t be when you ain’t got much !)
Truth be told it does many more good things , in the overall KARMA of LIFE !
The bad side are the evil perpetrators dealing in peoples lives , like they are a commodity !
Abusing and keeping all monies for their thieving selves !
Over my many years I met many Thai Go-Go and Bar Girls that were in it for the FUN !
Most are in it too improve their fate in life and some to help their family too, especially MAMA !
When you go out anywhere in the world , allot of it revolves around dating , finding girls , girls finding boys and nobody wants to marry a penniless pauper , but they do !
But then there are the other Girlz who , Just wanna have FUND$ !
Thank Heaven For Little Girlz ,
Without them , where would little Boys be !
My God! Thai Love Links has SO MANY fake sites promoting itself. From blogs like this to to fake “Review” sites. Incredible!
Hi Mark,
I assure you I am a real person, my wife Golf is a real person and we really met on TLL, so this site at least is not fake. I can’t speak for all the other sites out there, but I know what you are talking about regarding the review type sites; I have seen some very thin sites that aren’t providing any real information. Anyway, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment
I will marry next 27 of november under thai marriage with my thai girlffriend. I want to divorce from my spanish wife, and when done, will marry also for legal with my thai wife.
For a thai it’s important you can support (money) the family. They can love you, but if you have no money or can not get, will get nothing. If you have money, she will love you, not because you are handsome, just because you will support her family. this is love for a thai.
I have no problem with that, In fact in western we build marriages for a shared project. It’s the same, although a little more sophysticated.
Phil,
I was miserable married to an American woman for 15, and it was all about the money! If my new wife makes me happy she can have all my money. Life is too short to be miserable, and it took me a while to figure that out. Besides if you really love her it should not matter!
Bobby
What you said should be engraved in stone.
There is nothing more true…
The reason it isn’t engraved in stone is because most men looking for a woman to maybe make a wife out of are younger men who don’t have a lot of money to spend.
I guess that’s true of everywhere else in the world except Thailand where I find myself surrounded by graying men, living off pensions that make them almost upper class citizens around here and followed by a woman who looks 15 to 20 years + their junior. If I were naive I’d say she just looks that much younger because she Thai, but no… Whatever, if they’re happy. Just makes a bad name for us younger white guys.
Who are you kidding? And just why does it make younger guys look bad because older fellows have found a place and someone to share their years?
There’s nothing wrong with the older guys finding a place they enjoy and sharing time with someone they love.
The problem with that idealistic vision is that in reality EVERY SINGLE guy I’ve met over here 35+ is either running around like they’re 17 again, or they have a g/f and they treat her pretty terribly. Mind one, not anywhere near as bad as every single Thai man I’ve met, excluding two, who treats their g/f or wife way worse, but still.
It gives the younger guys a bad name because everyone gets to thinking if your white, your a man, and your not here for sex then you’re here looking for legitimate company and you’ve got the money to dump on her, her family, their house, etc.
Plus, my personal feelings when I see some 55+ dude roll up on his tiny little 400cc motorcycle with a 20 or 30 something Thai woman frankly disgusts me – mostly because of the afore mentioned experience with every single white guy 35+.
Your right, there nothing wrong with it. This young guy does not get it,most Older men have more stock in life, that has come with working over 30 years saving money, having a work pension, government pension. Owning property and raising a family and sacrificing the best part of your life to marriage that died early on but stayed for your kids and because of quilt society has placed on you.
Finally your burden is lifted and you pursue happiness with a young Thai Woman, you got every right.
I’ve been married to a Thai (Issan) lady for 11 years. I love her more and more every day, but it’s all about money
Thanks for the advice Steve. Do you mind me asking what lawyer you used and his contact info. Would like to work with someone who know the staff at the embassy.
I meet a lady on Thailovelinks three months ago and we have been communicating every day. Last week I asked her to marry me and she said yes. I am flying to Thailand in November to meet her and her family. She does not speak English very well, so communication may be difficult. Now we communicate by translating each others message on the computer. Do you have an suggestions for me for when I meet her and her family. Is there any special customs I should be aware of, should I bring gifts for her family, and her. I plan to give her an engagement ring when I get there and we plan to marry in February of next year. I will fly back for Thai wedding. Also, I consulted a lawyer about K1 visas and they want to charge a lot of money for filling out paper work I have already completed. It seems like a waste of money to hire a lawyer for that. What do you think? I’m only sad I cannot file visa paperwork until we meet. Can I put down that we plan to meet and file?
Bobby
@Bobby Yes you should definitely bring gifts for the family, but it can be something small. You may want to wait until you get to Thailand and ask your fiancee what she thinks would be appropriate. You should also (if you’re not already) be aware of the Thai custom of sin sod or dowry.
Regarding the lawyer, that is completely up to you. I used a lawyer, mostly because it saved me time and gave some peace of mind as the lawyers office had Thai staff to take Golf around for her physical, explain the process and take her to the visa interview. The lawyer himself had been doing U.S. marriage and fiancee visa’s for a long time and knew most of the staff at the embassy as well, which I’m sure doesn’t hurt the approval process. Personally I thought it was money well spent, although I’m sure I could have done the process myself. When you consider that you will be waiting 5-6 months for the final determination on the visa I think it is worth it to get a professional. What happens if you get denied and have to start all over again? Trust me, it is already nerve racking enough just waiting once for the visa approval to come through. I would definitely wait until you meet to file and in my opinion it’s even better to wait until you’re married.
be carefull, or you loose all – keep youe hormon’s under control – I have been there and back – a bunch of spongers — did you work for you money >> ??? they did not work for it – control your hormon’s – wake up – come down to earth – think carefull – you are going to loose . been cought to often — are you prepared to support a extended – ??? familly heavy on your wallet and credit card — regards – Professor
Bobby,
Suggest you slow down a bit, mate.
Too late for this advice I think, he said he was flying to Thailand to get married in November 2010. Hope all is well Bobby and both you and your bride are very happy.
You’re letting your little head think for your big head. I’ve been married to a Thai wife for 6 years. Fortunately I met my wife in Europe not Thailand. This allowed the relationship to blossom naturally. I suggest you slow down. You seem to be more concerned / focused on marriage an not a real relationship. You may be over your head (the big one). Again SLOW DOWN
WOW Bobby, super fast moving, SLOWWWWW, I hope to hear a reply to this, as to hear what happen in Thailand with this, This sounds way to fast, and I am sure your missing so much about Thai customs and relations, and for her to say yes so fast is very scary.
Bobby know one thing, SUPER SEXY HOT BEAUTIFUL GIRLS ARE EVERYWHERE IN THAILAND, Slow down, and think, I hope your base is more then a pretty face and she was nice to you, there is a lot more to it, hope you had fun in Thailand, but I hope yu just met her family, learned a bit about Thai’s, and DID not marry already, maybe engage but not marry so quick, get to know her, she what her and her family are like, I seen a few warning signs in your words already, take your time. and update us please