Why Thai girls chase money or become bar girls
Sawasdee ka everyone
Last week I talked about the difference between successful relationships between Thai and Farang and the failures. I will talk more about that but one comment was very interesting and I would like to talk about that in this post.
Bob’s comment about no girl grows up wanting to be a bar girl and scam men for money….it was very touching and caring comment and it is very true. Perhaps though these days some of these girl are now quite happy with this lifestyle but how many are not, how many hate themselves for it and as Bob said had not the idea when they were a little girl.
I got to thinking how some of this might have started because I don’t believe Thai women have always been like that and sex tourism has not always been so widespread in Thailand……and I know it’s not just limited to Thailand because much of South East Asia has this problem.
I know that there are some historical reasons why all this began in Thailand and why we have a problem with so many Thai girls chasing Farang for money.
In WW2 the Japanese began a trend called Comfort women which were women they mostly forced into a type of prostitution for the Japanese military. Young women from countries under Japanese Imperial control were reported to be abducted from their homes. In some cases, women were also recruited with offers to work in the military. These comfort stations spread to other Japan occupied territories and also women from other countries were recruited for this work including women from Thailand.
There were 20,000 prostitutes in Thailand in 1957; by 1964, after the United States established bases in the country, that number had increased to 400,000
While Japan did this for their own needs the sex trade really began in Thailand with the Vietnam war. There were 20,000 prostitutes in Thailand in 1957; by 1964, after the United States established bases in the country, that number had increased to 400,000.” Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming the US because in 1967 Thailand agreed to provide “rest and recreation” services to American servicemen which they called ‘I&I’ intercourse and intoxication. The reason for this? It brought around $16 million into the Thai economy.
The problem was that after the war this left a big hole in the Thai economy and this was filled by tourism which then set in place the whole bar girl and scamming Farang for money industry, and it is now an industry. As I said this is not really the fault of the US because I know that Thailand has an acceptance of this type of work by women. Although it is not exactly legal they turn a blind eye to it all and much of Thai society accept that it is part of life.
Kritaya Archavanitkul, a Thai human rights activist, interviewed by UC Berkeley Institute of International Studies, said:
‘I don’t know about other countries, but in Thailand the sexual behavior of Thai men accepts prostitution. Every class of Thai men accept it, although not all Thai men practice it. So they don’t see it as a problem. So when it comes to the policymakers, who are mostly men, of course, they don’t see this as a problem’
Now the problem has become so big that Thai girls are recruited from all over Thailand and especially the country areas. They are sometimes coerced into this and because they come from poor families with no education and they become the sole support for the whole family and sometimes even whole villages, some of these girls have very sad stories too.
Thai girls now go into it all with open eyes, they hear stories and see neighbors in their villages with big houses paid for by Farang husbands and boyfriends
But some of these girls now go into it all with open eyes, they hear stories and see neighbors in their villages with big houses paid for by Farang husbands and boyfriends and they are seduced by the idea of earning much higher money than they can in a normal government job or worse doing unskilled work in the countryside.”Why work in a factory for 2,000 or 3,000 baht a month ($80 to $120), when one man for one night is maybe 1,000 baht?”
Interesting…recently I went to Pattaya…I took Dean just so he could see it for himself as he had not been there before.
His comment was that it was hard to be confused about what all these girls are about but in the West there is a perceived mystique of Asian women as being beautiful, obedient and available, many times this is actually promoted and that it plays on the urges and emotions of western men and so they fall for it so easily. When you combine that with the need for money in Thailand by many of these Thai girls there is your equation….it’s simple supply and demand.
Women who suffer with this kind of lifestyle do because of their karma
Another issue I often hear from Farang is that because Thailand is mostly a Buddhist country how does this sit with Buddhism. What you might find interesting then is that in Buddhism women are viewed as naturally inferior to men. Buddha himself said women are seen as impure and carnal and can corrupt men. Buddhism is also about acceptance of the suffering and pain in life and as you might know also uses the idea of karma and it is often thought that women who suffer with this kind of lifestyle do because of their karma.
So what we see is that this type of behavior has become part of our culture and society and is very difficult to stop because so many of the people who can stop it or at least reduce it actually accept it. The sad part is that sometimes this type of attitude about getting money from men can leak and filter into normal society, not just the bar girl types but normal girls working in normal jobs who see it as a man’s duty to provide financial support.
This attitude is especially seen in women with Chinese heritage where as I discussed last week it is expected of the man to provide all the financial support in the family. However the positive side to that is that these women also have an understanding and acceptance that all the gifts, gold that their husbands might buy them will be used if their husband have a financial problem in the future.
Many Thai women are genuine and hardworking, maybe even more than their husbands
Now although this might sound very negative for my Thai women I also know there are many, many Thai women who are genuine and hard working, maybe even more hardworking than their husbands as in fact many Thai men can be quite lazy.
I hope some of this information you find interesting and help you to understand that this is part of our culture and also understand what you need to be aware of if you become involved with a Thai woman. They are not all bad but it is easy to get caught so you need to be careful.
Until next week I hope you all have a safe and peaceful week.
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Its a pity that a minority and the values of some of Thai girls have greatlty tarnished Thailands reputation abroad. Sadly Thailands greatest recognistion continues to be the sex capital of the world. Unfortunately this reputation makes most westerners who dont understand Thai culture think ALL Thai girls are the same….Thats where the damage has been done.
Angella,
Thank you for the insightful article and all the good replies it generated. I paid for my girlfriend in Shark Bar on Soi Cowboy–but we’ve been together since then. We “love” each other and the sex is great! I believe marriage is the next step, and I have no hang-ups about our relationship. My situation is unique because I’m an American working in Beijing, and the Visa requirements are excessive. We’re working it all out now.
Good wishes to everyone in their relationships!
Peace,
Tim
This is so eye opening. When you think about it the flech industry goes way back in history. Morality has never really changed.
This is my first time to comment, but I want to tell about my wife from Chiang Mai. After being married 7 years and being together both in Thailand and the USA, I have some comments to make. To a certain extent she may have been chasing the money and I was her ticket out, but she has made it clear that she had passed up other Farangs because they did not meet her standards.
1. You are not marrying a blank slate and neither is she. You are putting your histories together to make a new one. It is not always easy or “clean”, but a struggle in commitment no matter whether western or Thai. She had suffered abuse, poverty, jealousy, and ostracism…all of which makes up who she is. Knowing this helps me understand her insecurities so we can work through it all.
2. She had grown up poor, became wealthy, and then her abussive ex self-distructed,leaving her with nothing but debt and her own strong will. We struggle sometimes with her liking the “finer” things of life, not because they are needed, but I think because it gives a “boost” to her identity. But western women have the same issues, so this is not a Thai thing.
3. I paid off her fathers house because it seemed to be the right thing to do, as it had been put up for collateral by her ex., but now her oldest daughter is putting money into my local Thai account each month at least equal to what I am earning from my retirement. I had loaned her the money for a restaurant start-up last year, and now that it is doing phenominal (waiting lines every night and income equal or greater than a USA professional), she has started other businesses. This is a high energy, high maintenance family and there are obligations that go along with this. She has started a business in western Washington, so I do most of the household chores, cooking and cleaning. She has built a number of houses and did construction in Thailand, so appreciates my renovating a house we will use for income when we move back to CM. Chasing money? Well, it is the money she makes that we are living on right now.
So each Thai lady is different..but the same. Find one who has similar goals and build trust. A lot of times it will not be so much about “Love”, but trust and caring. With both of us on our second go around we have more to loose, as well as more to gain so we are trying hard to make it work, and it is.
JimM,
Thanks for the insight. I’m dealing with this right now.
Peace,
TimL
Angella,
Your post is written from a perspective rather than fact. The first poster, Matt in BKK, is spot on. However, what you both fail to discuss is the impact of the regimes surrounding Thailand and the forced emigration to Thailand of millions during the Pol Pot era in Cambodia as well as those fleeing Laos and Myanmar. You see, one of the too often ignored facts is that the overwhelming majority of prostitutes are NOT more than third generation Thai. Most are second generation. Why? Because they are the daughters and granddaughters of families who have been discriminated with for decades by Thai society. Thai society is a textbook example of Colorism gone wild. Darker skinned Cambodians who fled to Thailand could not find work (in larger part due to supply and demand at the time, though). They could not own land. They could only perform menial labor. So to get ahead or just make ends meet, many women turn to prostitution and their daughters may also follow suit (hence the acceptance). Laotian women are actively sought by Thai men for their whiter skin. Those women also flee to Thailand chasing economic advancement opportunities to take care of their families back in Laos with the higher wages they can earn in Thai karaoke bars and becoming Mia nois to Thai men all along the border areas. Eventually, many if these women hear about even higher earnings can be made deeper into Thailand around the resort areas. Most go willingly with eyes wide open. Same can be said about Burmese women, however they are more ethnically distinct and are not as desirable to Thai men. Hence, they are not seen around Thailand to the extent that Laotian women are.
I could go on, but I have made my factual points. Hopefully, you have learned something and will endeavor to learn more on your own.
Hello To All,
Just a quick blurb in honor of my wonderful Thai wife, Malee (Zaida) Manowang from Phayao (cann see her here: http://zaid-pub.iii4s.org/?page_id=473). I’ve been married and divorced a few times, and have even been through my more-than-fair-share of coerced Thai women. But Malee outshines them all, and its not because of her looks and sexuality (not bad though) but because of her exrmemely positive attitude towards life in general and marriage in particular.
I’ll be moving to Thailand soon to live with her in Chaing Khom, and hope to be sharing more with you all; especially on this subject.
Cheers,
Dr. Omar
Angella,
I read your blog fairly regularly, and sometimes I agree and sometimes I don’t, but this time, I think you are way off base. You are spreading a common misconception and something that Thais like to use as a soapbox issue when discussing the ills of ‘farang’ influence.
The American presence during the late 60s may have made the sex trade more in your face, but it was not responsible for a wholesale shift in the Thai mentality. Prostitution has only been illegal since 1960, though the ‘Entertainment Places Act’ of 1966 set about requiring licensing of massage parlors, go-go bars, and hostess bars. While the majority of foreign sex tourists come for (in Bangkok) the areas of Nana, Patpong, and Soi Cowboy, that is a fraction of the skin trade here. Go to Rachadapishek or drive by Lumpini park after hours and you’ll see plenty of women who are engaged in commerce with no thoughts of landing a farang but rather opting to sell themselves for quick money versus working in a menial job.
The truth is, now, as always, the skin trade is mainly Thai on Thai. 4.6 million Thai men vs. 500,000 foreigners annually pay for sex in Thailand. Massage and entertainment complexes exist not only in the major hubs, but all over Thailand, and certainly in areas where there wouldn’t be enough foreign business to sustain them.
So why is this so acceptable? A tradition of misogynist culture could certainly be an underlying cause. It wasn’t until 1868 that Thai men were forbidden from selling their wives AGAINST THEIR WISHES. The prevalence and acceptance of multiple wives and ‘gicks’ is just another example of this. Many of the ‘bad girls’ that end up in the business have been abandoned by their Thai partners with young children or left an abusive relationship.
Perhaps the stratification of Thai culture in general could go someway to explaining it. The fact that many Thais look down on huge segments of the population based on where they are from, their economic status, or even more superficially, their skin color can’t help in opening options for advancement in life or job opportunities outside of the sex trade. Thai society isn’t exactly clamoring to help those single mothers with social programs.
The Thai idea of love is very different from the western ideal as well. For many Thai women, love means being taken care of. Stability and security. And that means money. Whereas westerners regularly marry for a romantic ideal of love, Thais, like many Asian cultures value the ability to take care of one’s family above individual feelings. This isn’t an issue of right or wrong, but rather a case of different perceptions. There may be absolutely nothing wrong in the eyes of a Thai women on a personal level in ‘manipulating’ the affections of a man for monetary gain. The pressure comes not from inside, but rather the social stigma attached. Remove the options for advancement within the culture, and the decision to resort to prostitution (and really, aren’t ‘mia noi’ really just personal sex workers with more rights) becomes much easier.
Finally, the information age has brought Thailand the same problems as everywhere else: the Keeping with the Jones syndrome. Couple that with the concept of face, and it just exacerbates the inequalities. TV and the internet show everyone, what the Haves have. It isn’t important how they got it, or whether they are good people (in fact, they must be good because they have it). Cell phones, new trucks, and fancy homes are expensive.
Living in a foreign country opens one’s eyes to the fact that your worldview isn’t the only one and there is not always a clear right and wrong. My point is not whether the skin trade acceptable or not. While I don’t disagree with everything you say, I do bristle whenever I hear it being blamed on the westerners like Thais have no culpability and we are taking advantage. If it was truly not acceptable for Thais, it wouldn’t be accepted. But it is. If Thailand really cared, it wouldn’t just turn a blind eye. Take the example of Chuwit Kamolvisit. While the former massage parlor magnate may not have won his bid for prime minister, he did manage to be elected to the House of Representatives.
Here are some links to follow to learn more if you’re interested:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Thailand
http://www.uri.edu/artsci/wms/hughes/thailand.htm
http://www.sexwork.com/Thailand/traditiions.html
http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/reader/reader291.html
http://www.bangkokdiaries.com/2008/03/29/thaifarang-prostitution-bad-thaithai-prostitution-good/
Spot on.
Among the links you provide, the wikipedia refers to a very interesting and thorough study about sexuality in Thailand (not just prostitution).
http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/IES/thailand.html
It is a very interesting read. It digs deep into Thai culture, history, morality and ideal and matches it with the sexual behaviors, including prostitution.
The fact is: prostitution is widely accepted by Thai men. It is a very interesting discussion to have as a foreigner man with them. They usually don’t believe me when I tell them that in most western countries, while prostitution exists, it is usually not acceptable, even among men, and comparatively rare with a much lower availability.
One sentence of this study is edifying: In a study of conscripts from northern Thailand in 1990 and 1991 (Nopkesorn et al. 1991), 97 percent of these 21-year-old men reported having had sexual intercourse, with about 54 percent reporting having the first intercourse before the age of 16. The first sexual intercourse for 74 percent of the men was with a female sex worker, compared to 12 percent with a lover, and 8 percent with a girlfriend. A majority of men, 90 percent, had had sex with a female sex worker, mostly starting between the ages of 15 to 18. By the age of 16, about half of the sample had had their first visit to a female sex worker.
I think Americans simply put on light what already existed in Thai society when they came in.
story story…
my first wife was a beautiful but poor chinese
she used me to get out of the country, milk me for some serious cash, found a job, found several boyfriends to cheat me with, left me with the richest possible candidate that she could find
divorced
found a Thai girl this time, expecting a poor thing
just my luck, she is the daughter of a rich chinese/thai business man
i only found out many months later after dating/visiting her
married her, have kids and I don’t mind that daddy in law helps us out with his cash
so now I am the lazy farang living in a nice moo baan, maid, swimming pool, etc…
Ali Baba,
What goes around…. Good story. I’m about to make the same plunge–but it won’t be into her father’s pool. LOL
Good wishes,
Tim
You apparently have NO IDEA of your own history. And like most thai people, buy the propoganda that you have been fed in school.
As early as the 15th century, Chinese traders and the Treasure fleet wrote in their logs of how thai men were happy to sell their wifes to any buyer and how thai women were happy to have sex for money.
Blaming ngative aspects of your culture on others, Japan and the USA in this case, is definitely a thai custom
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. And inside a dog it is too dark to read.” Mark Twain
Good luck!
Women all over the world chase money, in one way or another. What woman doesn’t want to marry a solvent guy with prospects?
Women marrying for money is not limited to Thailand and certainly not limited to prostitutes!
In what way can the women in your article be distinguished from women who marry for money in the absence of love?
I see many very attractive ladies with very old men who are well past their sell-by date. “What first attracted you to the German with a retirement visa and THB 70,000 plus baht pension a month.” Clearly the mans physical looks might be the key or perhaps he has a very nice manner and is kind to animals. Could it be the pension??? I think so. It does not matter if the guy is German, English, American or fat, thin, old etc. Follow the money and you have the answer. I’m 58, ok to look at but no 22 year old English girl would give me a second glance. Not so here. Money first, personally & looks second. I cannot blame them. Everyone wants a better life so why not marry a farang? Many do. Some work some fail. It a lottery that the girls wins everytime. Why not bet on a sure thing. He will buy a car, house, bike, holidays abroad etc. Human nature will always follow the money!
1000 baht for a night? It’s more like 1000 baht for a half hour, or 2000 baht if she’s hot. Bar girls make more in a night then straight girls make in their jobs all month.
It’s gone up in a year. 1,000 short time. 2,400 long time.
My question is if Thai gals love to find a frang husband, then why they try very hard to take away / use all the frangs money as fast as they can, then the marriage falls apart.
Also due to Thai culture short sighting, it is very common that when the money is all gone and the Gals are back to square one
You’re right “fatfather.” They know where the money comes from, they don’t talk about it openly.
However, in the case of my inlaws, it’s a family business. They sit, discuss, and plan their next strategy together as a family. My mother inlaw ( living under my roof ) used to take my wife’s calls just to fool me.
Angela, has said it all. I’ve met lots of good Thai women from responsible families, but just because I was married and didn’t want to break my marriage vows, I allowed those opportunities to slip away.
I am married to a Thai and have lived in Thailand for several years. my comment on this is simple. Thai women in general do not “make love” they have sex which is not the same thing. To many, having sex is no more personal or sensitive than shaking hands and therefore its just a means to an end. If a girl is from a poor family who perhaps work as labourers for building homes as many do, and a pretty girl see’s she can either mix sand and cement and carry blocks in the hot sun all day for 150 baht or have sex and maybe 30 minutes later has 1000 baht it doesnt take a rocket sceientist to see which one she will choose given the lack of emotional involvement.Also given the Thai attitude to material wealth and standing, they love to display what they have and how they are better or superior to others. In many places having a “ferang” husband is considered a “trophy” and will often mean the girl now has it all so to speak. Money, House, latest phone, new motor cycle and yes its like winning the lottery but the chance of winning is considerably better than playing the real thing. Many times I have been asked “do you have a friend”, not interested in what he is like, how he looks, what age he is, because its not important to them. What is important is that she (the girl) probably her entire immediate family now have real security.Thats the motiviation and reason for most of the “what makes them do it”. BECAUSE ITS EASY AND THE REWARDS CAN BE SUBSTANTIAL.
Charlie: Where did you learn about the human condition? I studied biology in University and can assure you, the human is driven by reproduction as much as any animal. Sure we dress it up, are conditioned to say the right words when we “have a relationship” but believe me “IT IS SEX!!!!!!”. My wife and I have “sex” and I like to think we both enjoy it. When I stop enjoying sex, well I guess I can always fall back on “making love”. When I was a young man, being led around by my little head (penis), I chased girls because I believed ultimately I wanted to talk, discuss world events, take long walks with her? Ya like right!!!!! I have some swampland I can sell ya. Sex between a husband and wife is great because we know each other, we understand what makes us feel the great satisfaction in coupling. OK call it “making love” if it makes you feel better about yourself. Don’t tell me you were sexually attracted to your wife/girlfriend, go ahead, say it was her mind that attracted you to her. You ever see a beautiful thai woman? Think, wow she is beautiful? Well buddy, that’s called physical attraction or in basic terms “sexual attraction”. Without this basic drive, the human race would have disappeared long ago. Cultural, social thinking and societal norms has caused many different needs for nomenclature to justify actions, but call it like it is.
Yes, I love my thai wife, she is smart, funny, cute and sexy as hell. I am 25 years older so might not be as “cute” or “sexy” as I once was but like to think and I do get positive feed back on this, enjoyable to be around, both in and out of bed.
By the way, I can make love to my wife walking down the street! I think what you mean is, making love doesn’t always include sex. That’s why the business is called the “Sex Trade” not the “Love Making Trade”.
No flame Charlie, just had to qualify “SEX”
BobM
Right on. I’m in a similar situation. Yes, we “love” each other. But eh sex is phenomenal!
I have added this to my favorites, thank you so much for sharing
I live in the country side and I’ve never heard that a family sent their daughter away to sell her body. The family does not like to speak about where the money comes from, it is important only that the money flows. The idea to work in a bar is sure fanned by stories of the nice houses from falang husbands, but the ignition I see in Thai country society. It is not unusual that girls at the age of 14/15 give birth to their first baby and the young boyfriend who is father will have to marry her. These two kids are not able to care for themselves and the marriage break apart quite quickly. While the boy runs free without any responsibility for his young wife and the kid, the girl sits on her family’s pocket. The family will not send her to work in a bar, but the family will tell her that they will care for the baby and that she has to go and make money. Usually the first attempt is to go to Bangkok, or a major city to find a job in a factory, the income on the country side is very low and very hard earned. Once in a metropolis it is a question of time to learn that 4000/5000 baht per month is nothing compared to 1000 baht per night. Nevertheless it is not the quick money which is so interesting, it is the chance to find a falang husband who will really care in a long term with sufficient money. “Love” is not in first place for a marriage, Thai women use to say “…I can make my heart love…” Love may grow after the falang has proven that he is what the Thai girl/woman was dreaming of and that needs time…. There are many very sad stories among the bar girls, many have bad experience with falang who played king for a holiday, and then just disappeared or have to admit that they also have nothing. This bad experience asks for payback, which is understandable and may hit the wrong falang.
Good comment, fatfather.
IMO there’s just many misunderstandings, and the most basic one is what is love, what is sex, and what role does money play. These factors are interrelated everywhere, all over the world, and the stories connected to this play out in different circumstances and in different environments. What’s the difference between the bar girl and the trophy wife, or the girl who studies business knowing very well that’s where she’ll meet rich guys? Money, love, and sex can never be separated.
Even in the night club in Bangkok you could meet a girl, dancing naked, you like her and take her home, later you fall in love and have kids – who is to say this is better or worse than the arranged marriage of a virgin and a “good man” in the muslim society? One thing I am sure about – if I had to place a bet on the stability of such a marriage, which one would last longer, I couldn’t – it would always be 50/50 – no one knows, too many other factors are much more important. Same with the western ideal – meet random girl X somewhere, marry, and… who knows. If you married too young you’ll probably divorce again before long.
The sex tourists is disillusioned when he learns his hot Thai bride only was in for the money; The Thai girl from the country is disillusioned when her prince disappears and is never heard of again.
And love may grow – who is to say that is not so? Do you love your wife the same, or for the same reasons, you did 10 years ago? If not your love has grown, evolved, just like yourself. So yes love can absolutely grow, and it can come later – or not. There is no generalizing. The one good thing about the farang bar girl angle is that this is for many Thai girls the only real chance to meet foreigners – and I support the mixing of cultures whenever and wherever I can. Not just one way of course, I have many great Thai friends with farang wives – just look at how cute the kids are, you know it’s a good thing.
Hi Angella!
I usually read your blog, but I’ve never posted any comment, so here’s my first one.
First of all, I think you’re right about what you’re telling about Thai girls chasing money. But I think we cannot blame anyone, both Farang men and Thai girls are guilty for this situation. And I think it is a shame that things are established this way.
I’ve been with so many Thai girls. I live and work in Bangkok, I’m young and still good looking, but I hate when a girl on a typical Saturday night is trying to have something for me not for that, just because she thinks I have money. I cannot stand when a girl, the next morning, tells you that needs 300 bath for a taxi (300!!!), mixing money and feelings.
Because it is horrible to have a good chat, warm feelings, sex and passion like two persons that really desire something with the other, and later at the next day she is trying to have some stupid baht. Of course, I haven’t given them nothing. That would make me feel like I’m going into prostitution, and I never paid for sex, so now I’m not doing that.
That’s annoying, because you can start to think that women here are just toys and totally empty. Thankfully, I have so many good Thai friends (both men and women) and I know that in Thailand are very good people, and that nobody thinks the same.
The main problem: for me, is the chauvinism existing in Asia. In Europe we try to give the same conditions for men and women. Girls are not forced to do the house duties and to raise children, that’s a shared work for both men and women. And, of course, men are not the only ones giving money to the family, because women work too. And we don’t care if the man or the woman is earning more than the other one. We really want to be equals.
Nevertheless, in Spain there are too many girls that really want the old chauvinist scheme. They are comfortable being householders and waiting for the man’s money. I usually run away from those kind of people…
In Asia, girls are been advised that they are dependent on the man. And that’s the problem of so many Farang blaming their Thai girlfriends, because in Europe it is different.
Just to finish: people, both men and women, have to be loved because of their feelings, or their behauviour. What is important is she or he can make you laugh, if she or he is so tender at the morning, if she or he is lovely even in the bad moments. What is not important is money. If you love someone, money doesn’t matter. You’ll find a way.
So many Thai girls fall in love not with the man, just with his social position. No money, no honey. But that’s the problem of Farang men, and if they cannot realize that, it is their problem.
And that’s all!! I love Thai people, but as a modern European, I hope that someday Thai society can put chauvinism apart. I know it’s possible, I’ve met so many people that really wants it and think that the truth is different from the classical point of men working and women doing housework and raising children.
Thank you for your time!!
“I’ve been with so many Thai girls”… me thinks you might be taking advantage of the situation. It doesn’t sound like you intend to have anything more than a short or one night fling with these girls but tell us they are ruining the “emotion” of the occasion! Rarely are girls satisfied being brought home for a boning only to see the told to hit the road in the morning. The professional freelancers want 1000-2000 and you can’t even cough up 300 baht. You can avoid these situations by being subtle but clear that you aren’t the paying kind of guy before you ask them to come with you.
Well, it can seem that I’m taking advantage from the situation, as you said. But no. If I say to a girl to come with me, I’m not the one that is there for two hours and later I want them out of my appartment. In Thailand, I do the same that in Spain: if there’s connection between us we can share the next day, we can spend it in bed, go out for lunch or whatever. Is not being rude, is like sharing things and knowing each other. It starts with sex, but it can go through other way.
By the way, of course I’m clear when I meet a girl that I’m not going to pay anything. If a freelancer wants to come with me, okay, but the first thing that I’m being clear is that I’m not going to pay nothing. Sometimes they come. Sometimes they don’t. But what I hate is this, at the next day:
“Err… I don’t want to disturb you, but because I went with you yesterday, I couldn’t go back home with my friend in her car, so right now I don’t have money for the taxi. Could you help me? I live near Victory Monument, going there is 300 bath”.
And I live in Sukhumvit. Is stupid, because is so easy to know that from Sukhumvit to Victory Monument is not 300 bath, is less than 100. And you have other options, like BTS… That’s what I hate, that she can be so nice, go with me to have breakfast, talk a bit… and, at the end, try to have money with an excuse.
Sorry, but I’m not paying a taxi-trick. Even less if I was clear about not going to pay for sex…
Luis you have alot of growing up to do whats three hundred baht for your own mistake a cheap lesson. Its easy to spot a freelancer in the crowd so why even bother
Angela, I am not going to argue for or against prostitution here but would love to tell you a true story, that makes me a bit sick. Here we go;
Next door to my late mother in law lives an aunt, with husband and two daughters. Well by now are the daughters not living at their home anymore.
That aunt and uncle never worked much, well at least not in the last 10 years I am coming here, and are basically just living from their one about 25 year old daughter obviously being in the meat market, because she could never send all that money to her useless parents, selling clothes in a shop, which is what she says she does. But do the parents care? Not a dot. Even the whole village knows that the daughter must be a whore, it doesn’t seem to bother her lazy parents at all, as long as the money keeps coming.
My late MIL and my wife were/are very embarrassed, whenever this young lady with silly tattoos all over her body, piercings and sporting more gold then anybody else in the village is around. Same goes for my wife’s school friends when they visit and she is around. They all feel pity with her, when she comes into MIL’s house showing off all her gold and latest mobile phones and doing the superiority thing towards my wife and her well educated friends with good jobs, just because my wife and her friends don’t like to show off.
Now, I am not going to judge the daughter, but I wonder about the parents. How could they not mind that the daughter is doing what she does? How can they accept to live on the daughters money? Isn’t it embarrassing, that instead of working and having a regular income, they just uselessly hang around their house basically just eating, drinking Lao Khao and sleeping? I mean what kind of parents are they?
I know for a fact that this story is no exception in Thailand. Many young ladies are in the business, because of the parents fault, be it because too much drinking, gambling or just because the parents are too lazy to work. I do feel sorry for this ladies, but really can’t understand such parents.
As I mentioned above, the family do not care where the money comes from and for sure they do not speak about a bar job, it is a tabu. Kids are expected to support their family, it is the country side pension system…